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Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in
xmm_brendan's LiveJournal:
| Monday, June 5th, 2006 | | 12:09 pm |
A note left for Averillix
In Brendan's apartment, there is a letter in a large manila envelope sitting on one of the endtables; it is addressed to Averillix. He had written it the morning after Avex stopped by to end their relationship, and it seems he had forgotten to take it with him to mail it when he had left his apartment for the final time...so whatever authorities would eventually be searching his apartment upon learning of his death would most likely find it there. Also in the envelope is a cellphone. The letter reads as follows: --------------------- Dear Averillix... As I sit here and write this letter (something that you KNOW I dislike doing, so feel special...ha ha), my feelings are still mixed. Yes, I am angry and hurt at our 'conversation' last evening, and from the way I was acting you probably thought that I hate you...but nothing could be further from the truth. As a matter of fact, I do understand why you felt you had to make the decision that you did, and if I was in your place I probably would have done the same thing. Something is wrong inside my head, and I think it's progressed too far to be fixed. I think you saw this the last couple times you came here to see me, and despite your attempts to enlighten me, I still insisted that everything was alright. You deserve to be with someone who could make you happy; I'm not that person, and I doubt I ever would have been. I did nothing but mope around every single minute of the day. You tried to help me, and I refused it every time. Maybe I thought that I eventually would improve just by sitting here doing nothing; that it would be an automatic process. Nothing could be further from the truth, as I've found out. I tried getting a job, and every time it fell through, basically because of my temper and the fact that I just don't give a rat's ass about anyone other than myself. You never needed to tell me that, because I knew it all along. Maybe it took something like you leaving me to make me actually realize it. Kinda funny how those things work sometimes, huh? I'm laughing my ass off right now. Woops! Look, see? There it goes! Heh. Bad joke, I know. As far as the cellphone goes...much like the new hat you gave me, it was a gift I had given to you, so I want you to keep it. You could always erase my number off of the address book, it's a generally simple process. You could also erase me from your memory if you'd like; I really have nothing else to offer you. All I can tell you is, go out and find the person out there who you deserve, and who deserves you, and never look back. Who knows, I could be here another sixty years, or I could be gone tomorrow...either way, you don't need to have any correspondence with me. As I said, I will understand. Despite everything I've said, and as odd and sappy as it may seem...I still love you. That is why I wrote this. I wish you well...may life bring you whatever it is you desire... - Brendan Schafer Current Mood:  exhausted | | Saturday, June 3rd, 2006 | | 5:13 pm |
| | Wednesday, April 12th, 2006 | | 6:35 pm |
Completely Random Journal Update
April 11, 2006 --------------- Oddly enough, I had a visitor stop by the apartment earlier this afternoon. Nice kid, very mature for her age, attitude-wise. Her name is Cassy, she's 14, and apparently she lives in that huge building just down the street. Seems it's known as 'Worthington House', or something, and I guess it's a supposed safe-haven for mutants and whatnot. Honestly, I'm not quite sure why she decided to take the risk and stop by...I had run into her previously once before, in the Park, but it was only a brief meeting before she was on her way again. It bears the question, did I really make that much of an impression on her that she remembered me and the fact that I wasn't in the best of moods that day? And why on earth would she give a damn? In any case, she did, and she brought me cookies. Heh. It's funny, the last time I had homemade cookies was while I was on the Brotherhood island, of all places. Strange, if you think about it. Anyhow, she hung around for a bit and we had an interesting conversation about life in general. She seemed to take an interest in my welfare for some reason, and even suggested an idea that I hadn't really thought about before...something about volunteering and sharing my previous experiences with other youths who may be in danger of straying down the wrong path in life like I did. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I'm not the world's best speaker, to be honest, but maybe I don't need to be...maybe the fact that I once belonged to the Brotherhood, and am still alive to tell the tale would be proof enough that not every bad decision has to end in a bad way...though looking around now, I'm not exactly in the best conditions. But I'm alive, right? Anyhow, I hope this Cassy girl really does want to help me...she may just be the stepping stone I've been looking for to get myself back on my feet again. Maybe I -can- salvage things and start over again. Is there possibly light at the end of the tunnel? Maybe...but I hope that light doesn't happen to be an oncoming train. Brendan, out. ------------------ | | Tuesday, December 27th, 2005 | | 2:11 pm |
| | Saturday, December 24th, 2005 | | 2:38 pm |
On the 1st day of Christmas...
It's Christmas Eve in the Big Apple, and most citizens who happen to celebrate the holiday are either already doing so, or still hurriedly making the preparations for the following day's activities. As the afternoon progresses into evening, the streets begin to gradually clear out, until there are only a handful of 'last-minute shoppers' struggling to finish whatever it is they need to do. In his rundown apartment in the Paradise Villa, Brendan sits on the floor. He stares out the window at the miserable, rainy weather, as his mind overflows with various thoughts and musings. Some of these he records in his sparsely-used Journal he carries in a pocket...others simply vanish, never to be thought of again. Having nothing else better to do, and no family really to spend time with for the holidays, the young mutant spends his time just sitting at the window. Not really paying much attention to the small TV in the room, his thoughts are enough to occupy most of his time. It isn't as if he really had many around to chat with anyhow. Journal entry #3 ---------------- Well, person-who-will-most-likely-never-read-t his-crap... It's Christmas Eve, and for the first time in my life, I could care less. I've been watching those who've been crazy enough to venture outside in this neighboorhood (ha), and it's sorta funny how quickly they tend to walk...either to their cars, or back into their homes. All the time looking back over their shoulder, just waiting for that mugger or rapist to leap out of the dark alley, knife poised to strike. Of course, there is no immediate sign of danger; people's minds tend to play tricks, as they say, and they hear things that aren't really what they seem to be. At the moment, things are quiet and calm for once, and yet it seems the reputation of this place always seems to proceed it. Y'know, it's funny...that sounds vaguely familiar. I will be the first to admit that I've done some things that aren't what one might call 'intelligent', such as joining up with the terrorist organization known as the Brotherhood...and also, walking around outside while in the midst of some strange surge in my powers which causes me to resemble a living glowstick. The fact that the anti-mutant propaganda is as strong as ever out there makes this an even less intelligent decision...it's something that I will definitely try to remedy in the future. Key word there is 'try'. Heh. It doesn't help that I seem drawn to confrontations. I don't know what it is, exactly, but I can't seem to keep myself out of trouble. I have this lovely little doodad attached to my wrist now as a reminder of this fact; the feds don't seem to trust me at all (I wonder why?), so they stuck this thing on me. It's to 'keep an eye on me', as they said. Well, that's not exactly what they said, but I'd rather not write things word for word...let's just say the words they chose weren't fit for human ears. Turns out this thing not only tracks me, but it keeps me from using my abilities to their full extent. In other words, while wearing this I am unable to completely disappear into any object, in effect getting rid of my ability to escape. I am still able to use my powers to control stuff, but that doesn't do me much good at the moment. So I suppose you could say that I now am a sitting duck in case Mags or one of his happy little helpers decides to hunt me down. If they even have the time, of course...who knows what evil deeds they're coming up with as we speak? Evil deeds. Ha. Now -there's- something I would never say out loud. I'm such a nerd. So yeah. It's Christmas, and I'm here by myself, in a crappy apartment with hardly any food. Don't worry, I'm not going to whine and complain and moan about this fact. Everything I've done to get in this position is my fault, so there we go. Besides, whining about my situation isn't going to make it any better; that's something that I've got to go out and do by myself. I think the first step involves swallowing my pride, and going over to Xavier's to try and meet with Dr McCoy. He's the most intelligent person I can think of; maybe he can help me figure out what is wrong with me, and what's up with this glowing thing. If I can get rid of this, then maybe I can walk around the streets like a normal person again. I'm -not- normal, of course, but that's besides the point. Anyways, I think I've written enough for now...maybe I'll come back to this later on. Not like I have anything better to do, heh. Brendan, out. Oh, and Merry Christmas with a Ho-Ho-Ho and all that stuff. ----------------------------- Current Mood:  pensive | | Saturday, October 8th, 2005 | | 2:06 pm |
Journal fun.
Journal Entry #2 ----------------- As you probably can tell, I don't often take the time to write in this thing because I don't feel it is necessary...but at the moment I am stuck in a hospital bed with nothing else really to do, so I figure I might as well do SOMETHING to keep me from getting too bored. I think joining the Brotherhood was the biggest mistake of my life...and it was a mistake that could have possibly cost me my life. I am lucky to even have survived being assaulted a few days ago...usually when Toad sets out to do something, he finishes the job. Was I supposed to die? Who knows. But the fact of the matter is, I didn't. I most definitely am banged up, to say the least...I don't think I've ever felt worse in my entire life than I do right now. My ribs are completely smashed to hell...as is my skull. And my arm feels like it's gonna fall off at any moment. But I will definitely heal, even if it takes quite awhile. That end result is still on the horizon. I am determined to get back on my feet, and show the BH that I am not as weak as they seemingly think I am. They took it upon themselves to label me a turncoat, and a traitor, simply for leaving the island to be with the one I care about most. I did nothing to warrant the title, save for leave, and so now I figure, why not do something to make the label truthful? The question is...what, exactly? I know I can't go anywhere near Xavier's...the moment I set foot near the place I'd probably get my head blasted off by some sort of bizarre plasma ray or something. Who knows what wacky devices those loonies have set up as defense systems for their school? Heh. Anyhow, I suppose I had better find someplace to live...otherwise I would end up right back where I started...living in Central Park and having to fend for myself. I will give the BH one thing...when I was there, I was treated much better than any other time in my life...up until recently, of course. Heh. But still...it seemed everyone there stuck together, and I still have a grudging admiration for that fact. Even if I hope every single one of those bastards dies in a bizarre gardening accident. Points if you get the movie reference I just used. Anyhow, I'm starting to get pretty tired from all this writing, so I think I'll stop here and pick this up whenever I feel like it. Yay. Latah... - Brendan aka Poltergeist Current Mood: groggy | | Thursday, September 8th, 2005 | | 3:04 pm |
Leaving...(Brendan's Journal thingey)
Well, this has most definitely been an interesting last couple of days, and an interesting turn of events, to say the least... I woke up a couple of days ago to find a note from Bella, explaining that she was leaving for the mainland, and that she wanted myself and a few others to come with her. Upon getting over my initial surprise, my decision was made relatively quickly. I swore loyalty to the Brotherhood, yes, but even before that I had given my loyalty first to Sabella. One only has to take a look at the marks on my neck for proof of that. She was the one who took me in when I had no place to go, and treated me like I wasn't just some punk from the gutter she found wandering the streets. She made me feel useful, like I could actually do something productive with my life...that I could use my abilities to help the cause of misunderstood mutants everywhere. For that, she will always have my loyalty and friendship, whether my life is at risk or not because of it. It definitely goes far beyond simple life and death. Also, there was something else that influenced my decision to leave the island and the only real friends I ever had (it's now like I'd like to apologize to Padraig, Raidha, Chrome, and the rest of those I spent my time with on the island...guys, I'm sorry, but this is something I had to do.) Her name is Averillix. I feel that now I am no longer obligated to follow the rules of the island, I can now freely search out my best friend, and we can possibly continue the relationship that we had started a few years back. I know that there will be many risks involved, so I assume that we will have to keep this a secret...but again, this is something that I am willing to risk my life for. I only hope that she still feels the same way, and hasn't found someone else in the shattered pieces of our breakup about a month back. Now I find myself sitting in the city of New York, someplace I never thought I would ever be again, save for the occasional day trip. My future here is uncertain, but I do know one thing...my trust is in Bella, and whatever she thinks is best, I will do without question. So...here's to the start of a very interesting future... - Brendan Schaefer Current Mood:  complacentCurrent Music: 'Fly Me to the Moon' - Frank Sinatra | | Thursday, September 1st, 2005 | | 12:59 pm |
Okay, okay, FINE. I've finally given in, too. If there are any questions anyone wants to ask me (and I doubt it), feel free. :) I'll try to answer them as best I can. Fwee. | | Saturday, August 13th, 2005 | | 12:50 pm |
| | Wednesday, June 29th, 2005 | | 1:50 pm |
| | Tuesday, June 28th, 2005 | | 12:22 pm |
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